Leeds Utd v Grimsby Town JPT Nov 10th 2009

First I'll start with the attendance register. Happy Chocker........absent digging coal. You didn't need Poirot's little grey cells to work out where the other 12,000 or so regular attendees at ER were..........tucked up at home or in the pub watching the game on Sky! In some ways you can't blame them on a chilly night missing out on a match in the much maligned "Watching Paint Dry" trophy but I've a sneaking feeling the competition will take on a more compelling appeal the nearer we get to Wembley.

I'd scampered down from work to a deserted Kop bar to have what passed for my tea of a Pie and a pint as I waited for the kick off. Big Steve appeared minus George.........absent playing Call of Duty, scandalous! Turkey Twizzler arrived like Billy No Mates. Luke, Dale et al were all marked absent.

So it was just the faithful few and a larger than normal number of juniors taking advantage of the cheap tickets who filled the kop. The Haddock Munchers from Lincolnshire had brought a good turn out nearly filling the bottom tier of the South Stand..............well if you lived in Grimsby you'd take any excuse to get out for the evening wouldn't you?

Larry had picked a strong team with Vokes and Becks up front, Max starting possibly his last game for Leeds and Killa getting a rare start in the middle. At the back Lubo and Aidey White were given a chance to shine. I duly noted all the absentees in the seats around me and the game was under way.

Now Grimsby, a team struggling near the foot of Div 2, and fresh from an embarrassing defeat against Bath in the FA Cup looked like fish ready for filleting as Leeds got amongst them from the off. Sammy Vokes failed to keep a header down in the first 5 minutes as I settled back for an exhibition game. Leeds were knocking the ball about with Killa orchestrating play from his midfield role but somehow we got to 25 minutes and it was still 0.0. The only time Grimsby got the ball there front men ran offside. I must have counted them off 11ty times. This was not lost on the kop as they sang "You've never been onside"

Something was not right though. I hastily scanned the pitch and checked the programme. Yep Jermaine Beckford was playing but I don't think I'd seen him touch the ball? After Saturday's less than impressive performance I'm beginning to wonder just what is wrong with our goal scoring hero? Maybe he didn't like the fact that every second pass seemed to go to Mad Max as first he was a right winger then a left then midfield...................I think they're triplets fizzing about all over the pitch.

Just when it looked as if the first half was going to be goalless 2 popped up at once..........first one of the triplets shot and deflected deliciously of the Mr Lancashire into the Fishing net......1:0 Leeds. Then the imperious Kilkenny slotted home a 2nd to send the visitors in for their Half Time drink well and truly battered.

I spent HT trying work some life back into my frozen feet as the first winter game of the season took it's toll on my nether regions. My hands were ok though.........good job or I would have had Frozen Fish Fingers! (Sorry)

Leeds were now attacking the Kop and surely now the goals would start to flow. But after a bright opening things started to get a bit scrappy to say the least. "2:0 and you smell of Fish" the kop amused themselves taunting the Black and white army.

The third goal came from a Beckford toe poke after sterling work from Snoddy had created the chance. It was looking Grim for Grimsby.

But suddenly the Haddock boys were back in the game when Casper came for a cross and punched the ball right onto Peter Sweeney's sweet left foot he returned it with precision into the top corner of the unguarded net. 3.1

Mad Max was soon torturing the Grimsby back four again though and when he crossed perfectly for Snoddy at the back post the majority of the kop thought he'd scored but the goalie scrambled the ball away tantalising in front of an open goal but nobody in a white shirt was following in. Robbo, Enoch and Prutts all got to stretch of their legs for the last 15 minutes but frustratingly there were no more goals. Grimsby made a good fist of trying for a second goal and Casper was called on to save Aidey White's blushes when he gave the ball away on halfway.

In the end a comfortable win as expected. 2 rounds from Wembley and with only Accrington, Carlisle and Bradford standing in our way not many people will be betting against us making the trek down Wembley way again. That will test the Happy Chocker's resolve not to go to a JPT match me thinks.

Killa was my man of the match closely followed by Mad Max. Not a match that will stay long in the memory though.

Next game is Brighton away a week on Saturday. Hopefully we will make Brighton rock with another win on the road. Can't wait.

MOT

Oldham away. FA Cup 1st Round. 7th Nov 2009

Not surprisingly the weather turned grey as we motored out of the white rose county and into Lancashire.............it always does. Beefy was beefing in the back of the car about the fact that whenever we play Oldham the temperature is always hovering around Zero. As we parked the car and picked our way through the potholes and the puddles in the car park even I started to question my sanity in swapping a warm study huddled in front of the laptop for Boundary Park on a wet Saturday night. Soon we were in the warmth of the Clayton Green pub though and the pre match chatter warmed the cockles. Big Steve was sulking because I'd missed his birthday off the mentions in the preview. So happy 52nd birthday Steve.........you don't mind me mentioning your age do you?

You don't see many Chelsea pensioners at Leeds games but tonight was an exception as two old timers joined us in the pub for a pre match drink. They were guests of the club as part of their Remembrance day celebrations. "I'm only here for the beer" one confided in me!

Once in the ground I'd like to say that the minutes silence was impeccably observed but it wasn't. Sad to say late coming Leeds fans chanting drifted across the Lancashire night air as the Last Post was sounded.

Larry had surprised a few with his line up. Snoddy and Bradders supporting Beckford up front in a 4.3.3 formation with Doyle, Killa and Howson in midfield.

Leeds fans were in fine voice as the first ever FA Cup match to be streamed live got underway. The weather was cold and wet and was not conducive to pretty football never the less Leeds started as they meant to go by zipping the ball about on the greasy surface. Daryl Flahavan in the home goal was called into action early on as he sprinted out to deny Snoddy. I had the pleasure of standing next to one of the most active and vocal members of the "Beckford's a lazy no good bastard" club and it wasn't long before he declared our star striker to be a useless c***. With fans like that who needs enemies? Then another heated debate erupted over the singing of the Munich song as an old Leeds fan tried to shout the singers down. For me singing a song that celebrates the deaths of innocent players and staff of our bitterest rivals is disgusting, especially when we quite rightly berate the Millwall fans who sing the Istanbul songs.

Back to the match and Leeds were dominating the first half playing the better football but Casper had to be on his toes to deny Colbeck when he took one too many touches on the half hour. At the other end Snoddy appeared to be wrestled to the ground inside the box with the ref and linesman watching on but no whistle was blown. A goal was on the cards and sure enough it came when Jonny Howson cracked an unstoppable shot from 25 yards to put Leeds in front. Cue noisy celebrations in the away end packed with 50% of the games crowd.

Beckford had been quiet, clearly not liking the lone striker role and liking even less the clattering he was getting from the ex Leeds fatman Gregan. He is his own worst enemy in games like this though. Instead of making runs looking for the ball and chasing down defenders he disappears from the game in a glorified sulk. Very frustrating for the fans.

The half finished with Leeds on top and the fans singing a lusty chorus of WACCOE which lasted the whole of HT accompanied by the shirt waving and dancing.

I thought that we would push on and make the game safe against a distinctly average Oldham side in the 2nd half but it didn't quite happen. The game got scrappier the more the game went on and Oldham began to sniff the possibility of snatching an equaliser. Their "crowd" even burst into song at long last. Taylor tested Casper with a shot drawing an excellent save from the great Dane whilst at the other end Jermaine finally got free only to blast the ball into the Leeds hordes behind the goal. Fireworks were lighting up the East Lancs sky but sadly on the pitch the fizz had gone out of the game.

Doyle finally got the booking he wanted (so he wipes out his bookings with a one match ban against Grimsby) and was immediately replaced by Aidy White and Grella replaced Beckford whose slow walk off even infuriated the Leeds fans. There were times in the 2nd half when I thought the picture I was watching had frozen just like the live stream on the T'internet but the two subs livenened up the last throes of the match.

As the game stuttered into added time Snoddy broke in mid field and released the eager White who surged through the tiring defence to pick out Grella at the back post who finished well to secure our passage into round 2. Magic!

All's well that ends well but not the most aesthetic match I've ever seen. There were glimpses of the supreme confidence that Leeds are playing with of late but I think at times it all got a bit too easy and the foot came off the gas. Hoepfully when we return in a few weeks for the League game we are a bit more ruthless against a poor Oldham side.

On the ride home down the M62 the main topic of conversation was who we wanted in the next round and hopefully round 3..........Round 2 anyone at home and definitely not Torquay away! Round 3 Quiet One has had a dream that we play Coventry? Newcastle, Tottenham or even Ipswich (blame Beefy) away were all suggested. That's the magic of the cup though. We can all dream about progressing in this famous old competition and even harbour ridiculous thoughts of getting to Wembley.......................and while ever our ball is still in the velvet bag there's a chance. Roll on 3.35pm on Sunday and the draw.

Grimsby in the "Watching Paint dry" Cup on Tuesday. Can't wait.

MOT